january

this is thomas' best, 'i don't know mom, am i cute? face.' sweet marshmallow, you're precious. and so's your bro.
oh january. the never-ending month of dreary cold gray blah. mucky murky dark dank january. luckily february is right around the corner. so we got that goin for us.
i guess it's fitting that we're knee-deep in control crazy twoness. to save ourselves, tayloe and i decided to step off most of the time because nothing will make you lulu like arguing with a two year old over who's going to let the dog out. there are maybe a handful of things we stand ground on and most of those relate to safety, personal space and sleeping and eating.
that's why when t2 started refusing to eat at the dinner table and telling us where he wanted his plate (oh no he didn't) and everything we said or did to change his attitude failed, we pulled out the big guns.
bribery. the cold, sweet ben & jerrys kind. oh the power i feel knowing there's a pint of willie nelson's peach cobbler in the freezer.
i'm not even sure tayloe got the concept of sweets and desserts until last month when i started running out of creative things to do on rainy days and resorted to baking. turns out, december had a lot of rainy days. we made a lot of cookies.
with the promise of dessert, he's peacefully eaten most of the food on his plate at the counter for four nights straight. to sweeten the deal, i got him a new truck placemat. tonight he was so full he didn't even finish his dessert.
i know it's not about winning and losing, it's about compromise and teaching and taking it all in stride and BLAH BLAH BLAH.
I WON. i love it when i win. i'm going to gloat. nah na nah na na nah. I WON I WON I WON I WON.
for now, at least.

it was great

the holidays were awesome. the best two weeks ever. we ate great food, opened lots of presents, saw everyone we loved, spent tons of time together and laughed a lot. best of all we were in our very own home (with beautiful new windows).
and now, i'm ready for spring.

things unseen

as if real life wasn't enough to keep up with, lately tayloe's been creating entire scenarios in his head and then trying to explain them in 2 year old twoglish. the combination is mind blowing. most of the time i have no idea what he's talking about even when i can clearly understand him.
yesterday we rescued a frog from under the sink (with a hammer no less) and chased him around the house. we also caught about 100 very large fish in wolly's dog bowl using cookies for bait. his baby (a doll i gave him when thomas was born) has had a tummy ache (mama, baby's dummy hwurts) all day and has been changed, burped, tucked and untucked into bed about 1,000 times. right now he's doing weekly maintenance on his fleet of trucks and farm animals.
he spends a lot of time with his gang of people, moving them around in trucks, putting them in the laundry basket, hiding them under things and talking to them.
i was going to get him this cool marble maze thing for christmas, but i think instead i'm going to get him a doll house because he loves to move things around and create situations (look, mommy, people watch george. look mommy, people to pete's house. look mommy make tookies.)
seen any good ones?

post script: before tayloe went to bed, i showed him a few doll houses i found online and asked if he liked them. he went bananas, chattering on and on about having a home for his people. he got so wound up it took close to an hour to get him in bed. he showed me the one he liked the most but of course it was out of stock so i just spent 2 hours scanning the web like a crazy person to find it somewhere else. i never did find the exact one, but i ordered one very very similar. i won't link to it because ... well, what if he checks my blog? you'll have to wait for christmas morning photos. and yes, i'll probably sit up all night christmas eve assembling the thing (while big tayloe snores on the couch) which will for sure have instructions only in korean and be missing 7 or 8 essential pieces and i'll have to call india to reorder and it'll take so long we'll be able to give it to him as a birthday present in july. but regardless of that i'm now very very excited for christmas because i know i've gotten at least one incredibly perfect gift.

3 months

thomas and i went to his 2 month doctor's appointment yesterday (um, a month late. second child, waddya gonna do?). he weighs nearly 14 lbs and is 25 and a half inches long, which apparently is really long. i think he's starting to look more like his older brother, though he's not nearly as active as tayloe was. he's happy to just lie on his back on his mat and occasionally kick his legs. he'll stand up if we make him, but he'd just assume snuggle up to us under his blanket and smile and gurgle until he falls asleep. i can't help but wonder (hope) if he'll be a little less active than tayloe. our family could use a thinker.
i find myself longing for time with him - when i can just hold him and talk to him and rub his little downy head and even when we have time i want it to last just a little bit longer.
both of our guys are sweet. tayloe's like a sour patch kid. yummy with a punch and very addictive. thomas is sweet like a marshmallow. fluffy and soft. you can eat a million and never feel too full.

why 2 year olds should be reporters

what if, 'what doin' mama? mama, what doin? dada, what doin? what doin dada? oh, why mama? why mama? mama, why? MAMA why? WHY? WHAT DOIN'? MAMA, MAMA WHAT DOIN? mama, dada, what doin?' was redirected to the president?
'mr. bush, was war wrong? mr. bush? huh mr. bush? was war wrong? mr. bush, was war wrong? why mr. bush? why? MR. BUSH? mr. bush? mr. bush what doin'? what doin' in iraq? MR. BUSH? c'mon mr. bush. c'mon. mr. bush, WWWWHHHHAAAATTT DOOOOOIIINN'?'
i'm pretty sure we'd have some answers.

owie rain

i took the boys for a walk today in our new amazing, fantastic superdooper BOB double stroller. we had a fine time and stopped at the park to play. on the way home, i noticed an ominous cloud behind me and pretty soon the wind picked up and the temperature dropped about 15 degrees and before i knew it little pin pricks were poking me in the face. shit. it's freaking hailing.
i started running and realized i wouldn't make it home without freezing everyone to death, probably literally, so i made a mad dash for the service station nearby. i saw dusty, the hottest service station attendant ever, through a foggy window and started mouthing, 'shit, shit, shit' in hopes that he'd open the door, which he did, welcomingly. it was kinda like that scene in 'war of the roses' when kathleen turner and michael douglas meet on a rainy night at an estate auction, except it was broad daylight, i'm married (lovingly), have two young kids in tow and he's not a day over 17. anyway.
what was my point? oh, so we're sitting inside watching the hail and freezing rain and tayloe looks at me, holding his face, and says 'mama, OWIE RAIN!' (luckily not, 'oh shit, owie rain'). he talked about it all day, how we got caught in an owie rain storm.
i love it. owie rain.
ps - look at that dimple on thomas' cheek. slays me.
pps - dusty gave us a ride home in his truck. sigh.

tookies

it rained today so for lack of anything else to do, little tayloe and i made cookies. the chocolate chip kind.
i gave t his own bowl (own bowl, mama) to mix stuff up in. 2 cups of flour for me, a sprinkle for him. 3/4 cups sugar for me, some for him. tablespoon vanilla for me, a splash for him. and so on.
i got so caught up playing rachel ray & explaining everything that i was doing with gusto that i didn't read the instructions and just dumped everything together. it wasn't until my batter was sandy rather than creamy that i realized i'd done something wrong.
so i dumped it all out and started over.
'what doin mama? what doin'? bye bye tookies?
mama messed up, baby. do over! (ooooowwwww mama! do over!)
when i finally got it right and was ready to give him his first taste of cookie dough (the only reason to make cookies in my opinion), he wouldn't eat it. he actually said yuck.
no, not yuck baby. yum! the yummiest yum ever. here, try.
no, mama, yuck. yuck!
if you insist. i'll lick the beaters myself.
he did, however, dig the chocolate chips. i gave him a handful to dump in, only he crammed them all in his mouth before i could even explain that they were supposed to be mixed in with the batter.
we plopped the mixture on cookie pans and sat in front of the oven and watched them bake while wolly licked spilled flour off the floor.
mmmm, tookies.

god bless texas

hi from austin, where tayloe and i are having a deliciously relaxing time made even more so by the news that thomas slept all night last night at my parents house. horray!
i love austin, but i'm sure i feel that way because i'm getting spoiled rotten. tay surprised me with a hot stone massage at the four seasons this morning after the most delicious breakfast (brioche french toast and a bloody mary) and a stroll through the local farmers market. we walked the town all afternoon, stopping for the yummiest margarita you've ever had in your life at our new favorite place, texas chili parlor. tonight we're going to a honky tonk and to hear live music. tomorrow is the benefit.
our life with children is so full and wonderful and of course we miss them, but our life without them is pretty damn good too.
tater, there's no one else in the world i'd rather be with. austin, tx, scottsville, va, stranded on top of a mountain in -20 degree weather. i pick you. always.

the do nothing stage

i'm not one of those parents who is anxious for her infant to do something. if you ask me, thomas is the perfect age right now. he's sweet and wonderful and i honestly don't ever want him to grow up - and by grow up i mean turn 2.
not that 2 isn't fun. it is. and it's fascinating. but imagine what a mess you'd be if you couldn't control anything you felt - not jealousy, joy, anger, fear - nothing. and then imagine thinking that was OK but all day people were telling you it wasn't. and then imagine you had a little brother WHO DOESN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING but everyone cooed over anyway, using up valuable time they could be spending with you digging huge holes in the yard and running around in circles until your head fell off. you'd be out-of-your-mind bananas.
cute probably, but bananas.
thank god for curious george. the only time tayloe will sit still during the day (aside from his nap) is to watch george. that little monkey might as well be our third child. i hear william h. macy's voice in my sleep and i've seen every single episode ever made at least 300 times, but it's ok because when it's on my child stays in one place for at least 15 minutes.
anyway all this wonderful madness has earned big t and i a break. we're heading to austin tx on friday for a benefit for one of tayloe's new clients, the african children's choir, and my parents are keeping the babies. until monday. WOW. until monday! WOW! then we're meeting them at nags head for t'giving.
i'm pretty sure i know what i'm thankful for ...

rock bomb, 2 months & a haircut

our kids will never think it's weird or new or different or even historic that a black man can be president. to them it is and always will be the way things are. isn't that awesome?
yesterday i'd ask t2 who we voted for. 'rock bomb' he'd say.
in other news, our little baby ain't so little. i have no idea how much he weighs but i swear it's got to be close to 13 or 14 pounds. he's huge. he's a great night time sleeper but the days? not so much. at least once a day he takes a longish nap, but it's never at the same time. and some days he just cat naps and then konks out at 7:30 for his 7-8 hour stretch of sleep. i have no idea if he's getting close to rolling over because all i ever want to do is hold him and love on him. the sweet, warm, soft baby part goes by so fast, something i feel keenly aware of as i watch t2 run up to me and hurriedly say 'hi mom, bye mom' and then take off running as if there's pure sugar running through is veins.
there isn't, but at times tayloe's so filled with raw emotion and he's seems so confused about how to express himself that he does the only thing he really knows how to do - use his body. he hugs very tightly, he pushes when he means to just touch, he runs into other children instead of just saying hi, he tries to tickle but usually ends up scratching. he knows he can't hit or push when he's angry so he's taken to just walking by and shoulder swiping his victims. it's actually quite clever - neither a hit or a push, a shove or a kick. if she can't name it, she can't tell me not to do it.
none of this really surprises me. he's always been more active than verbal, more tactile than cerebral. to help him get over this aggressive spell (and end the 'pretty little girl' comments), we got his hair cut yesterday.
i kept telling him he was getting his hair trimmed like a grown up boy and grown up boys don't push or kick or spit (yes, spit) they use words and keep their hands to themselves. (play along).
maybe it'll work.
the haircut didn't go so well (notice the choppiness) and at one point i was acting like a human straight jacket and promising him just about everything under the sun. but it'll grow out and hopefully the joy of his mother's love will bury memories of her virtually strangling him in a barber chair.

looking for eggs in the chicken coop.

happy 'ween, pt. 2

this is just after leaving a very scary house (smoke machine, skeletons - the works) so tayloe looks a little freaked out, but i had to get the 'happy ween' on the record.

happy 'ween!

tayloe ran around all day yesterday shouting 'HAPPY 'WEEN! HAPPY 'WEEN!'. his excitement was contagious - despite being pretty wiped from our respective trips, t and i carved pumpkins, trick or treated, ate way too much candy and toted our little pony rider all over scottsville in search of sweet treats. t even rocked it and made us all grilled cheeses for supper when we got home (dad is the best).
and no doubt, we had the cutest little pony rider this side of the james river.
the only thing missing was thomas' costume, which is somewhere downstairs in the dark abyss of our basement. there's no way i wouldn't have dressed tayloe up when he was 2 months old. but poor ol t3 got the shaft cause i just didn't have the energy to go digging for it. as we were trotting through neighborhoods, i imagined him asking me later to show him pics from his first halloween. i started feeling really guilty, so i snapped one of he and i walking.

pics of the boys

aren't they gorgeous?

hush, baby

little thomas you're a trooper. already you've been on three overnight trips, braved several scrapes, been dumped on and been so overwhelmed by a weekend of wedding events that you just had to tucker out and sleep through the reception despite the loud music.
maybe it seems like we don't love you. afterall, your brother still only calls you 'baby,' generally refusing to say your name. and most of your face time with him consists of him whispering 'hush baby, hush baby, hush baby, hush baby' if you so much as make a peep.
but nothing could be further from the truth. i for one adore you. you sleep from 10 to 4 a.m. nearly every night (knock on wood), you're hardly ever upset and when you are, it's easy to soothe you. you're soft and cuddly and lately you've been showing us your tender, sweet little smile and the dimple on your left cheek that just about melts my heart.
i keep thinking, 'did i love tayloe this much at this age?' i know the answer is yes, though i don't know how because my love seems infinite and i don't know how a person can feel that way twice (three times counting your dad).
i'm filled with pride that you're mine and i adore every ounce of you, from the soft blonde swirl of hair on the top of your head to your teeny, tiny toenails. mmmmmwwwwaaaah.

such a perfect day

minus the formula dumping incident, t2 was a gentleman this weekend. here he is in his finest wedding duds just after walking down the aisle like he'd done it 1,000,000 times before. and then, despite my presumptions and plans to have him whisked away out of site the moment he handed over the pillow, he stayed quietly with his father during the entire ceremony. seeing him toddle down the aisle, dump the pillow with tayloe and climb up into his arms was more than i could handle in my weak emotional state. i cried a river.
mary was a beautiful bride, the food was amazing, mt airy was magical and the fireworks show at the end rivaled many i've seen on the 4th of july. the whole scene brought back a lot of great memories.
but best of all - to me anyway - was our kid. with his little white suit and little shoes and socks, his hair combed, his pink cheeks and rosy lips - the way he'd say 'i'm the wing bearwer' like he had an entire loaf of bread in his mouth. for one moment (one short, fleeting moment) he was an angel.

is little tayloe jealous?

oh i don't know, sometimes. LIKE WHEN HE DUMPS AN ENTIRE CONTAINER OF FORMULA ON HIS BROTHER'S HEAD. he was so shocked by my shrieks, he pretty much put himself in timeout.
for the record - thomas slept through this entire incident, including the clean up.

snap

my digital camera is so slow i am never really able to capture tayloe's expressions. but this once, it happened. this picture cracks me up.

7 years

hey buddy. seven years today you and me. i still dig you like crazy. our life is really bananas right now and it wouldn't be fun with anyone but you.
you're my favorite and if you want to know my plan, well it's to just keep lovin' you of course cause it seems to be workin'.