dizzy spin

this is just funny stuff.

winter wonderland

it snowed yesterday!

a few of my favorite things

ah, the beach. these are from ocracoke, a tiny little island that time forgot. we had a great day there last week, cruising around on bikes and eating shrimp.
there are days when t2 is so cute i forget all about his tendency to pee the moment i take his diaper off or his fondness for grabbing the end of the toilet paper roll and running like mad out of the bathroom with it clutched in his hands or his adoration for trash.
today was one of those days. it wasn't really anything in particular, just every time i looked at him he broke my heart. the cheeks, the hair, his pitter-pat toddle, the super sloppy on-demand wet tongue kisses. jeeze louise.

from coast to coast

the tayloes and i are at the beach this week - outer banks, nc. it's an old fashioned family vacation complete with an out-of-the-office reply on tayloe's email.
we arrived yesterday afternoon and drove down the sandy lane to our wooden shingled beach house, giddy and excited to be here. so excited, in fact, that we forgot my bike was on top of the car, a detail not overlooked by the top of the garage that we slammed it into.
"hey everyone, we're here!"
sssssLLLLLAAAAAMmm EERRRKKKKRRRAAAASSSHHH. shit.
(clark, let's just skip the house of mud.)
and so we'd arrived.
we forgot how remote it is out here and didn't think to hit a real grocery store before we got halfway down the barrier island. so we hit a local market yesterday evening. we bought one of everything, i think, and because it was taking so long to ring us up, tayloe struck up a conversation with the cashier, a young teenage girl named crystal.
tayloe: thanks for all your help. what's your name?
crystal: crystal.
t: with a C or K?
c: with a C, see? (makes a c with her hand)
t: and a Y or an A at the end?
c: (looks very confused) um, with an L? there's an L at the end.
t: YL or AL?
c: OH! AL. crystal. like crystal.
t: i see, crystal.
c: crystal blue waters.
t: crystal like crystal blue waters
c: no, that's my name. crystal blue waters.
me: (very loudly from the potato chip aisle nearby) SHUT UP! THAT IS NOT YOUR NAME!!! (then quieter, heeding tayloe's "you're so rude" glare) is that your name?
c: yes maam it is. that's my name. crystal blue waters.
and so now whenever i look at the ocean or see the sound or even run the damn bathwater, i think of crystal blue waters the convenience store clerk.

new favorite picture

where in the world is tayloe emery

i had the very best intentions of updating this blog as we drove across the country, but it just didn't happen. maybe on the way back.
we left santa monica nov. 1 with a slight halloween hangover. seven days later we arrived in greensboro no worse for the wear. we went a little slow through the west, stopping in flagstaff, az, moab, utah and in denver to see friends, but then hightailed it after that through texas, oklahoma, arkansas, tennessee and finally nc. i think i've been to every state in the country except alaska, wisconsin and michigan.
i expected t2 to balk at driving 8 hours a day, but he didn't seem to mind. there were plenty of trucks and trains and snacks to keep him occupied i guess. also, the person who invented mcdonalds playland should get a gold medal. i wish someone would clue hotels in on the idea.
t2 and i are in greensboro this week while tayloe works in dc. we'll be here through thanksgiving, then will take a family vacation to the outer banks and then will be in the northern neck through christmas.
next weekend i'm leaving t2 with my parents and flying to dc to spend the weekend with tayloe. it's a first - just he and i. whatever will we do?

happy halloween!

t2 and i went to a halloween party this afternoon. i even made spooky treats, only midway through i realized spiders have 8 legs, so some are anatomically correct and some aren't. (tayloe, do they remind you of the blue-ribbon spider cupcake we peed our pants laughing over at the humboldt county fair three summers ago?)
you'd think i'd of known that for as many times as i've read 'the very busy spider.' i might also would have known it because we've been watching our own busy spider on the side of our house.
there just isn't much cuter than a toddler in a costume. i think i'm going to put this zebra suit on t2 everyday until he outgrows it. tomorrow we're going trick or treating with some neighborhood friends. i've never been so excited for halloween in my life. i just might break out my lemon costume. go ahead, dare me.

thanks grandjane and poppy

t2 got a halloween card in the mail today that had $5 in it! how fun is that?

dirtball

my mother in law reminds me every once in a while that when tayloe was a little boy, he really liked dirt. she found handfulls of mud or worms or rocks - most of the time all three - in his pockets, in his shoes, behind his ears. i think he pretty much lived in the creek behind their house.
i never really thought to ask if he was the only one of her four children who was so dirt-friendly, but knowing what i know now i'll guess yes.
i thought i was prepared for a kid who likes dirt. i mean, most children like playing outside and most children get dirty. it's part of being a kid.
i just didn't think it'd happen so soon and i didn't think my child would be so fond of it. so very, very fond of it.
i feel like every time we go outside, i should just strip him down because no matter what he's going to find a puddle or a hole or a dirt pile. and no matter what, a few hours later i'm going to be rubbing shout into this clothes.
even when there isn't any visable dirt trouble in site, he still manages to get really, really dirty. i have no idea how this happens.
today we went for a walk at the marina, where he found every puddle and what seemed like every speck of dirt (and every leaf, and every pine cone, and every rock) there was to be found. as long as he's safe, i usually let him go to town because .... well, because that's what my intuition tells me to do. i can always clean him up.
when it was time to go i loaded him into the car, dirt and all. don't you know he fell asleep.
shit.
do i wake him up and take the dirty clothes off? or do i just put him in bed and give everything a goop bath later?
wake him up? put him in bed dirty? wake him up? put him in bed dirty?
against all my natural instincts, i put him in bed. dirty.
girls don't go to bed dirty. we have immaculate, well-practiced bedtime washing rituals. we have 7 different kinds of shampoo. if it weren't for women, soap wouldn't sell.
he can't possibly sleep like that, i thought. for sure he'll wake up, totally uncomfortable and begging me to put him in something clean. (god, please let him wake up so i can put something clean on him.)
2 hours later i heard him. i went to peek and he was sitting happily in his crib playing peekaboo with his sleepy piece.
i wish i could have enjoyed what was a cute moment, but it was way more than i could handle.
once he was tidied up he ran to the back door, demanding to go outside. like an idiot i opened it and before i could catch him, he had a fist full of leaves and was heading for wolly's dog bowl.
i. am. tired.

i have a boyfriend

this is the im conversation i just had with my 10 year old niece

catherineemery75: hi eliza! it's aunt cat
ninjaartist5: wuz up. i have a boyfriend
catherineemery75: oh wow! that's exciting. what's his name?
ninjaartist5: payton
catherineemery75: is he cute?
ninjaartist5: way cute
catherineemery75: is he smart?
ninjaartist5: oh yeah!
catherineemery75: so do you sit together at lunch?
ninjaartist5: he is not in my second period
catherineemery75: i see. do you see him after school? and pass notes?
ninjaartist5: yes.
[5 minute pause. i consider asking what they write notes about, but decide that's too nosy. i wait for her to tell me more about peyton. she doesn't. i change the subject.]
catherineemery75: did you see the fires in los angeles on the news?
ninjaartist5: yes. we have had lots of rain. i have to go.

and there you have it.
there'll be a day when i'm typing away at my computer and t2 im's me from college (or juvi) to tell me he's met someone he wants to bring home. sweet lord, please let all of her tattoos be spelled correctly.

danger zone

this is maverick requesting a flyby.

california burnin'

some photos from saturday. more are on flickr
it's blazes hot here and there are these dreadful fires, of course, all around us. it's pretty depressing, thinking about people's homes being charred and thousands of animals running for their lives.
there's this very eerie haze outside. it's sepia-toned air. at sunset tonight our neighborhood looked orange, like it'd been spray tanned.
i'll tell you what - mother nature is piiiiiissssssed off at southern california. i blame the governator.
i needed a break from the news (FOX: CA Inferno!). charlie gibson is wearing a coat, for god's sake, and everytime i see a blaze i have to go get a glass of water.
hold, please while i switch over to 'dancing with the stars.'
relief?
hell no. it's jlo. she's prancing around in 10 inch heels singing about gettin loud. gggrrrrlll, you're pregnant. whatchoo tryin to prove, crazy bitch.
all i want is jenny garth in a yellow tu-tu telling me how hard everyone's working and what a family they all are. or see marie osmond faint and then apologize for it.

pumpkins

we were going to go away for the weekend, but the colds of last week altered our plans some. instead, we took a day trip saturday to ventura county and ventured upon a pumpkin farm. who can resist?
my friend reid blogged recently about toddlerdom - it's all so true.
it's inspiring to have a little boy who is excited every single day for what's in store. he does some crazy cute things right now, but my favorite is the way he nods yes. it's a whole-head, whole-neck experience, touching his chin all the way to his chest and then looking up at me and saying yesssss with a smile. i also love how cooperative he is when it's time to pick things up and that he knows where things go.
and as annoying as the not so fun stuff is, i'm getting better at remembering that he's counting on us to teach him. that makes plopping him down in a bare, lonely playpen for timeout seem a lot less mean.
i have a few more pumpkin farm pictures, coming asap.

maataa

if i could draw and if i could sew, i would design a line of clothing for mothers. i'd call it maataa - mother in hindi. people think when they buy something with a far eastern name they automatically become enlightened and exotic.
buy these clothes and changing diapers will suddenly become exciting! changing sheets and washing dishes and doing laundry will seem worldly! mac and cheese with hot dogs will taste like gulab jamun! you'll instantly speak 5 languages and have time to meditate on things like inner peace and personal balance!
i digress.
it'd be clothing that is comfortable, fashionable, bendable, travels well, washes well (but not too well), roomy and gorgeous.
i want to be able to go for my morning walk, take t2 to music class, have a lunch meeting with a client, take a nap, meet a friend for an afternoon at the park, make dinner, roll around on the floor with my family and lounge on the couch all in the same thing. i'm willing to add the accrutrements - a scarf, a necklace, different shoes.
i just don't have much that i actually want to wear in public that accommodates all of the activity and hides coffee stains and snot. add to that the year-round warmth of LA and i'm so screwed.
my closet and drawers are full of things i used to wear - dress shirts, pencil skirts, heels, a down jacket. i guess i'm still holding on to that life a little because i try to wear some of those things with clothes that better suit my life now. sadly, it's just not working. i'm so uncomfortable most of the time you'd think i'd been constipated for weeks.
when i do find something i feel good in, i usually wear it for a few days straight.
so basically i need a bit of a makeover. my goal in the next month or so is to find a new sense of style that works for my lifestyle. (i also still need to ditch the remaining baby weight, so that's a goal, too. ugh).
got any bright ideas?

sniffle

t2 and i have both had a cold this week. sniff. sniff. after one hellish night of him waking up every 15 minutes, i decided last night to prop the head-end of his bed up with books so he wasn't so flat (and prone to stuffiness). it seems to be working, though i just peeked in on his nap and he was all stuffed in the bottom corner of his bed with his blanket rolled around him like a tortilla.
i'm feeling a lot better, thanks in part to being able to sleep in some. tayloe has taken to getting up with t2 while i get an extra bit of shut eye. they watch sesame street and eat cheerios while i hunker down under the comforter and thank god i don't have to pretend to like elmo & mr. noodle at 7 in the morning. next to the dyson, it's the sweetest gift ever.

daredlane

finally some walking video! it's not exciting, but as i say when it's my turn to cook - you get what you get. don't throw a fit.
if you listen close you can hear the squeak squeak of his shoes. they make noise when he walks (thanks grandjane!). the noise seems to delight store keepers and grandmother types and really annoy other moms. one snippy mother looked at me today and said in a frowny tone, "is that his shoes making that noise?" nope. it's his butt.
the santa monica airport is really close to our house so we went this afternoon because someone is very fascinated by airplanes and it isn't me. turns out it's super kid friendly with a little viewing deck right by the runway and a park and swings and everything. in fact, there's a decent sushi restaurant there, too, overlooking the runway. i really do love this city.
here are a few photos.

they land every couple minutes.












on the slide
















showing me what airplanes do (they go up, up, up!)

imaginary friends

every night when we put t2 to bed, we read him a story or seven. and every night when we're done with the story, just before the light goes out, he points to the same place in his bedroom and talks in the language that only he understands.
he's saying something like mmshways hyhyewyayay mmmmmmmmaaaawahnman? there's beautiful inflection and variation in his voice, like he's asking a question that i should understand. and then he looks at me and looks at the 'thing' and shakes his little pointy hand.
i have no idea what he's pointing to. i've picked up everything i can imagine that he wants and tried to ask if that's it, but he just shakes his head no and points, points, points. i've put him down and asked him to show me what he wants. he just walks over to his books, looks around and then comes back and sits on my lap. the whole thing starts over, only the second time i don't let him get down. eventually he gets tired, sighs and puts his head on my chest. like, "oh mommy. some day you'll get it."
after much discussion, tayloe and i decided he must have an imaginary friend he wants us to say goodnight to. so that's what we do. goodnight books, goodnight light, goodnight mommy, goodnight dada, goodnight imaginary friend who only t2 can see but must be really special because we're ordered speak to you on a regular basis.
oddly, this seems to satisfy him, which is both a relief and a little curious. what (who?) in gods name has his little mind created and what is its purpose?
i can only imagine.

six years

our six year anniversary is today. isn't that somethin'? six years.
last night i cleaned my wedding rings and i got to thinking about how someday i'll give them to a child of ours to give to his wife and they'll give it to their child and so on and so forth.
as i was scrubbing it and thinking about how our son's wife better be pretty damn sweet because this is a really special ring, i noticed how thin and pale my ring finger is without it on. i hardly ever take it off, so i hadn't realized how much a part of me it is.
the metaphor is bonk-over-the-head obvious, but i hadn't thought about the rings as an outward symbol of our marriage in a long time. maybe not even since our wedding day. this made me feel even more strongly that our son's future wife better be, like, queen of england or something.
so here's to us - despite a few nicks and dings and scratches, we still shine like diamonds and stand strong, maybe even stronger, as platnium.
clink.
i love you, tayloe.
lick the salt, throw back the tequila, squeeze the lime.
that's what i'm talkin about.

brusha brusha

please tell me you watched dolly sing 'coat of many colors' on the last blog post. it's too good to miss.
i got t2 a toothbrush a few months ago when the vet told me i needed to brush wolly's teeth and i told her i didn't even brush my kid's teeth. and wouldn't you know, the he loves the thing! no trip into the bathroom is complete until all 9 of his pearlies are polished with super silly strawberry paste. it makes a very nice bribe.
help mom pick up these blocks and we can ... GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH! sit still while i put your shoes on and we can ... GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH! it almost feels mean. on the plus side, he has the cleanest mouth in santa monica.
my friend lisa and her son sean came over yesterday and she brought sean's brand new miniature broom, which the two boys took turns whisking around my house like a couple of molly maids. brilliant, right?
eat all of your peas and you can go SWEEP THE FLOOR! hahahahahahahahaha.
this should work out just fine until he starts asking friends if they want to come over and mop our kitchen.

haircut + dinner w/dolly

t2 had his first real haircut while we were on the east coast. it was a pleasant surprise that he was very good and didn't grab the scissors and poke anyone's eyes out. he even had a lollipop. more pictures from our trip are on flickr.
i have my camera back and keep meaning to get walking video, but then forget. i'll remember eventually. it's just that between keeping him from climbing the walls and whopping on other kids .... well, i'm a little distracted. pharida jokes that t2's spirit (i'll always call it that, even when he's in jail) is my 'payback' for having such an easy infant. only pharida can get away with this kind of 'joke.'
on saturday night tayloe and i went to dinner and a movie (the flick was 'into the wild' and i give it lots of stars). tayloe picked the supper spot, matteos, because it was close to the theater. we loved it the minute we walked in because it was tacky with just a touch (the tiniest little touch) of taste. we were saying just this when we realized we were seated right next to MRS Tacky, dolly parton. mmmm, mmm, i love me some dolly. i mean coat of many colors?
dolly's sippin her martini with her girlfriends and we sit down. and i stare. how do i not stare? as my mother in law says, anyone dressed like that wants me to look at them. there's so much to look at. her ginormous boobs, for one. and the 80 karat diamond ring that's so big it spreads over three fingers and i can't even tell which finger it's on for another. and her hair and her lipstick and her spandex and her big poofy lips. she's only 5"2', but there's a lot of doll in dolly.
i tried to eavesdrop, but the only thing i could hear was her saying,'there's no such thing as natural beauty' in 'steel magnolias.'
i did get over it eventually and we had a really nice dinner. we were just about done when we looked over and noticed dolls and her gals were touching up their makeup. at the table. full-on compact-lookin, lipstick smackin,' makeup applyin. oh no she didn't.
tayloe leaned over to me and said ever so quietly, 'you can take a girl out of the country ...' which made me laugh so hard i snorted wine through my nose.

teedle toddle

home again, home again.
i wish i had some new pictures or some video, but i left my camera on the east coast and it's en route as i type. so we'll just have to wait. pooh.
mr.mister is a bonafide toddler. after taking his first steady stretch of steps to his great aunt courtenay in the great hall of mt. airy a few weeks ago (i think he was inspired by his young friend sawyer), t2's been an unstopable beast on 2 feet. he's a comical mix of a drunk and frankenstein, staggering around with his arms straight out in front of him. it's a familiar image if you've ever mixed big tayloe and a bottle of patron.
with his new found skill has come an enormous amount of confidence to try dangerous things, including climbing on anything he can swing his leg up on and then trying to jump off. this has taken precedence to throwing things and hitting people. however now instead of trying to explain gentle, i'm faced with trying to teach a toddler that sitting in a chair is ok, but sitting on a table is not. it's kinda tough not only because it's tedious but also because i find that even as i enforce the rules, i'm questioning them. i mean, some tables really do look like chairs.
sometimes i try to sum up the ways my time as a stay at home mother could come in handy should i ever find myself in an office again. there's the patience, and the organization. but there's also this fundamental right and wrong stuff. like don't bite people and don't hit them and don't go bananas and jump off other people's furniture because all of that is really offensive and rude and no way to make friends.
speaking of making friends, one last thing. thursday we were at the park. t2's toddling around and i'm watching him. i'm also eavesdropping on other kids' conversations. there's this little group of 3 year olds, maybe 4 or 5 of them, all playing in the sand with buckets and shovels and such. one little boy has a toy flip cell phone. while the other kids are building a castle, the cell phone kid is unflipping his phone, putting it to his ear and shouting, "IT'S JUST A STUPID MEETING! CANCEL THE STUPID MEETING." then he'd flip it closed and put it in his pocket. a few seconds later, he'd repeat it all.
poor little parrot. the other kids were looking at him like he was retarded. it makes my heart ache.

play nice

yesterday was such a treat. t2 and i left richmond county and headed down to heathsville to see sweet reid and her even sweeter son sawyer. we had such a nice time playing and hanging out at their way cool barn house.
reid took this series of pics (and also one of them playing very nicely together). every time i look at it i laugh so hard. i also can't help but ask why my kid's the one crying.
t2 does kinda have a hitting/biting "issue." sometimes i honestly know he's playing and has no idea how strong he is or that what he's doing is wrong. other times, he really is mad - like when we had to get out of the river today. either way, we always say no firmly and tell him some kind of alternative (even though we feel stupid saying, 'we don't hit, we hug' because he's still so young). it makes me feel very self conscious as a parent and reminds me that even though my ego isn't attached to a salary or a job in an office anymore, it's very much attached to this little golden haired person and the way he behaves.
i know he's far from an angel and this is just the very skimmy surface of the things he'll do that'll make me want to shoot myself in the head. i guess i'll just keep being consistent (or is there some wonder trick, like duct taping his little hands to his thighs???? tell me, tell me, tell me... ). but hit? and bite? does it have to be that? its so ..... boyish.
despite all the snips and snails and puppy dog tails, he fell sound asleep in my lap at bedtime with his little head on my chest and his sleepy piece clutched in his arms.
that's what little boys are made of.

thank god i'm a country boy

aren't these pictures great? my mother-in-law has an amazing eye and took these on saturday as we washed her car. the one with the chocolate lab moose's mouth framing t2's head is a blue ribbon pic, i think.
t2 had a dandy time playing in her flower pots and in the puddles that the hose made. the country really is a great place for a kid (and his parents). it's still pretty hot, but you can feel fall right around the corner. this is the time of year tayloe and i were married, and because we were married here it makes me very nostaligic for this place.
i can't help but tote t2 down to the river, plop down in the sand and watch him toss rock after rock into the water. we've all been sweaty and dirty and salty most of the time we've been here and it's been delicious.

well that was fun

a few photos from our vaycay last week. t2 got to wear some very fancy clothes on saturday at a wedding in spokane. il esta beau.
(i don't reccommend spokane by the way. our hotel was absolutely lovely and our friends there are lovely, but the town kinda stinks. literally. the only thing it has going for it is gonzaga basketball.)
now that summer's just about over, i think i'll let my hair grow long. it's going to be a rough couple of months because right now (even though i just had it trimmed) i look like fraulein maria (the hills are aliiiiivvvveeee ...) seriously, put me in some krenlin and an apron, shove a carpet bag in my hand and send me on my way.

babys first blackberry

this is a little absurd, but we gave t2 an old blackberry that tayloe had because he goes bananas everytime he sees his dad's.
we even charged it so it lights up when he punches buttons.
it's silly, but he loves it so much that now whenever he's headed for trouble (which is always) i can say, "where's your phone?" and he immediately drops what he's doing and starts looking for it. i wonder how long that'll last ...
i was trying to catch him on tape pretending like he is talking on it. it really is funny - he holds it up to his ear and babbles. but of course he's like the dancing frog when we actually ask him to do something, so instead this is a video of him standing up on his own. and in the end he looks just like his dad - who frequently stands in the middle of our living room, pecking away as if his life depends on it.

back, gone, back, gone

this is another birthday shot, taken at the cottage in va (that's t2's paternal grandfather) because i've been extra lame about taking pictures lately. to my defense, everytime i take the camera out, t2 dashes toward it and then throws a fit when i won't give it to him.
cabo was very very hot. it was mostly work so i didn't get to see much, but i did realize that tortillas in america are the pits. saturday morning after going to a surf beach we went to a delicious tortillaria. the scene was unreal - it was about 100 degrees at 9 a.m., and these ladies are working in a room that's about 150 degrees because they have to press the tortilla and then toast it on a griddle. the press looks like an iron from 1940s. there were about 5 little mexican girls, all about age 5 or 6, with orders their mothers had sent them down the street with. for a moment at least i felt like i was actually in a different place. you should have heard me trying to tell the woman in spanish that i wanted 12 tortillas in a bag.
i have no idea what makes authentic tortillas so good, but i'm going to take a wild guess and say lard.
we leave tomorrow for seattle and then spokane for a wedding. we'll be back sunday and then most likely are going back to the east coast for a good long while. no flies on us. i'm going to do the best i can to keep up here because it seems like changes are happening every day to t2. he says ball (ba) and banana (na na) and duck (duh) and wants to walk.
actually, he doesn't want to walk so much. it's me who really wants him to walk. he's like carrying around a sack of wet concrete. i didn't walk until i was 16 months, and i'm telling you right now if it takes him that long i think it's only fair that i get a deep tissue massage weekly, starting today.
now that i think about it, i'm not sure what i'm going to do when he does start walking because i can't keep a single pair of shoes on his feet. he yanks and kicks off anything i put on and inevitably one shoe ends up in the middle of the road and i don't notice it until i'm back to the car. the other day he was actually riding a pony at the farmer's market barefooted. we're such rednecks.
anyway, we'll keep you posted ...

adios

this is at our dave rabb gym class, which ended today. boo hoo. they don't open again until after labor day, which seems like forever away.
i'm leaving in the morning for cabo san jose in mexico. i'll be gone for two days working on my women for the world freelance project, mapping out their new web site (by the pool) and filling their web pages with content (with a cig in one hand and a cocktail in the other) and coming up fundraising ideas (after i order lobster).
the tayloes are staying behind on their first solo/overnight/two-day venture together. i sorta wish i could be in two places at once because i'd really like to watch as they whittle away the day together, most likely in their underware/diapers, eating ice cream and watching professional sports.
tayloe's (big) a rock star for staying behind and minding the store, especially when he had the option to come along.
in gratitude i cooked them a big pot of mac and cheese (broccoli added) and made some chicken salad - food that's easy to grab in between 'girls gone wild' and 'america's next top model.'
i think they're really going to enjoy each other, but if i'm wrong and you get a pitiful call from tayloe asking for help, please do what you can (just don't call me).
mr. mom, i love you forever. you're my favorite place.

recall

so mattel announced another toy recall because some of its toys have dangerous parts. but there's a whole other batch of toys that are being recalled because they're made with lead paint.
um. ok. talk about a problem i thought we'd solved, like, 20 years ago.
speaking of toys that should be recalled, tayloe's (little tayloe) uncle geoff gave him an up-up elmo for his birthday. geoff's the guy that gave us the 'my balls are magical' toy and the rolling, talking ball that says 'i'm over here!' when you've been ignoring it for too long.
determined to outdo himself, he delivered elmo with a smile. only much to our delight, t2 hates it. i mean really hates it. he turns and crawls away from it whenever he sees it. and if it starts talking ('elmo wants up-up, up-up elmo,') t2 starts crying. it's even worse if i start playing with it. he'll try to smack it out of my hands, tears streaming down his face as if to say, 'don't do it mommy! it's a bad toy! can't you tell? can't you ... (cry, cry, cry) ... can't you (cry, cry, cry, cry) ... can't you tell it's EVIL???' it's the saddest thing ever.
so i did elmo a favor and put him in 'storage' in a ziplock bag under t2's crib. only i didn't hide him well enough because t2 found him. elmo came alive from the grave, crying 'up, up, elmo wants up up' (i mean, why can't he at least say please?) through the plastic bag. and that was pretty much it for t2. he had a complete meltdown.
as a side note, this kid melts down about very little. last week a balloon popped in his face (he bit it, of course) and he laughed.
anyway, he melted down crying and crying and crying. i took elmo out and tried to show him it was ok, that i hadn't buried him alive, that he was only 'resting' in the plastic bag, but t2 wanted nothing of it. he whacked elmo so hard i dropped the thing on the floor. it fell with a thud and then said, 'thank you' in its stupid elmo voice.
so elmo and his red polyesther 'fur' and his googly eyes and his bad manners are banished to the man room outside.
if he survives that, which i very seriously doubt, i have my own ideas about what to do with him ...

little glimmer of devil

you tell me, what should the thought bubble over his head say?

elliott james lipp

news, news, news! my friend cathy lipp had her baby boy on tuesday! elliott james lipp was born at 11:06 aug. 7 - everyone is happy and healthy.
i would have posted a photo of the little guy if, um, i had it. his slacker parents haven't sent one - you'd think they had a newborn to take care of or something.
meanwhile, tayloe keeps finding new things to get into. it took him 10 minutes to work his way out of this basket.
aren't those cute orange pants he has on? i switched to cloth diapers last week. i know, who does that this late in the game, right? i honestly wish i'd done it sooner. i do a stupid amount of laundry a week anyway, so i haven't really noticed that much difference. i bought some great liners and over pants on sale and already have a bunch of cloth inserts, so it was just a matter of putting it all together.
getting them - or any diaper - on in peaceful manner is something else entirely.
i'm going to make a million dollars inventing a stand-up diaper changing station that you can strap a kid into.
here's what my daily conversations with t2 sound like:
me: stand up and let's change your pants
t2: bababababababa
me: hold still now. still. still. hold still. look!!! a car!! right there!!! in front of you! ooohhh, what a nice car! car! car! red car! your red car! hold still (etc, etc, etc )
t2: aaaahahahaha. bababa. mama mama mama. DADA?
me: dada's working. he's not here. i'm here. hold still.
t2: DADA? DADA? DADADADADADADADA.
me: ok, we're almost done. look! another car! a car! WWWHHEEE! play with that car. (SLAM)
no, we don't throw cars, we roll cars. see (one hand putting diaper on, one hand rolling the car) roll. not throw, roll. roll cars.
t2: DDDDAAAAADDDDAAA? dada? dada? dada? dadadadadada
me: let's work as a team. we're almost done. almost done. almost ...
(t2 sits down and inevitably squishes a turd into any one of our persian rugs. then, he makes a break for it and finds something else to throw.)
me: sigh. (pull out the big guns and put a ball on a nearby table, prompting him to crawl toward it and stand up. 'he can't possibly fall for this again,' i think.)
t2: ba? ba? ba?
me: yes, that's a ball. hhhheeeey, i know! you should get that ball! that's your ball! get the ball! it's over here ...
(sucker ...)
t2: ba. ba. mama? dada? mama? dada? DADA? DADA? DADA?
me: DADADADADA is NOT here. FOCUS, CHILD!
it's cute that he's really attached to tayloe, unless i'm trying to get him to do something he doesn't want to do in which case he nearly always screeches for his dad. and here i was believing what everyone said about little boys being ssssssoooooo attached to their mother. hrumph.

the very busy spider

another cute birthday photo.
we have this eric carle book, the very busy spider, that t2 loves. it's his top choice nearly every night. now, i like eric carle. he's good clean fun.
but this one, the very busy spider, makes me mad. here's the deal. it's this spider and she gets blown across a field and lands on a fence post near a farm and starts spinning a web.
as she's making this web, various and assorted farm animals approach her and ask if she wants to play (pig wants her to go roll in the mud with him, the dog wants her to come chase a cat, the cat wants her to take a nap and so on). each time, the spider doesn't answer because 'she's too busy spinning her web.'
at the end of the day, she catches a fly in the web and then she falls asleep. she's so zonked she even misses hearing a compliment from an owl, who (hooo, hooo) says her web is very beautiful. and that's the end.
this spider, she's a pretty boring gal don't ya think? she's so caught up in getting her mundane tasks done that she misses all the fun on the farm. i mean, who wouldn't want to roll in the mud? where's the work-play balance?
that's the lesson i take from it (everytime she doesn't answer, i tell t2 how rude she is and how very boring her day is turning out to be), but i'm not sure that's the lesson the author intended.
i think maybe eric carle has some protestant work ethic hang ups that he hasn't really worked through. i halfway expect the very busy spider to be beamed straight to heaven and take a seat next to the almighty at the end of the book.
that said, if that spider is for hire i'm perfectly willing to hand over my dyson and a bottle of ajax and let her get her protestant work ethic on in my house.

a vaccum that doesn't suck

tayloe surprised me with a new vaccum.
it sounds like the most unromantic gift ever. but it's a dyson - a super slim, super sucking, bagless, headacheless dyson. in fact, one of the very best surprises i've ever gotten.
tuesday morning he left the house on a mystery errand and came home with the new slim model in the car. maybe i've lost my mind, but i think that's really sweet and romantic.
i jumped up and down and i think i cried a little when i saw it.
wolly's hair and baby mess have really started to cake in over the last few months. my 'ol wheezer (the dirt devil) just wasn't getting the job done. it just blew the dog hair around the house. in fact, the dog hair actually ran from it. the thing can't even suck up a cheerio anymore.
and emptying the filter is like setting off an atomic bomb. it billows a plume of dust over our garbage cans that doesn't settle for days.
i ripped into the dyson, put it together in 15 minutes and vaccumed for 2 hours straight. it could suck up the baby, i'm convinced.
it also swivles! and to empty it, you just remove the canister and open the bottom! dump and go! bam!
our rugs look like new and turns out we have wood floors!
thank you tayloe. thank you, thank you, thank you.

hey, family!

i'm too tired to think even though i had a really great day and tayloe brought me an awesome suprise. i'll tell you all about it later.
for now here are some pics.
the first one is tayloe with his cousins eliza jane. these two have a ball together. am i the only one who can actually see the humidity in the air in this picture?

max and henry are our tayloe cousins. i refuse to think about the things these two are going to teach t2.

three generations of emerys. i love this picture.