sun gods

yesterday and today are the reasons i was excited to move to santa monica. it's been like springtime here and mygod it's amazing. we spent most of yesterday and today outside walking and playing and generally worshiping the sun.
no, i didn't forget the sunblock.
yes, we even put a hat on t2. although it didn't stay on very long.
i've lost faith in humanity. today while in line to get coffee (a midway point on our morning walk and a hiatus i'm so absolutely addicted to), i was swabbing the baby down with sunblock stick. i could feel the woman behind me watching. her crazy was burning a hole in my head.
i tried very very hard to pretend like i had no idea she was back there.
but of course she spoke. she asked if it was sunblock i was using.
i'm 100 percent sure i said yes in a very unfriendly way. this is my new tactic to fend off unsolicited advice when i'm with the baby (only when i'm with the baby). when the people go crazy, the crazies go pro.
so anyway, i said yes and i was just waiting ... waiting .... waiting ....
and then she said, "it's sunblock in a stick? hm."
this is how it starts. crazy plays dumb. crazy doubts that they actually make sunblock in a stick. then crazy tells me sunblock causes cancer and further concludes sunblock in a stick causes a new strand of instant cancer that eats little children from the inside out.
now's the time in the conversation when i'm tempted to take unfriendly to all new levels.
yes, lady. it's 2007. things come in sticks. gluesticks. glowsticks. lipstick. please just leave me alone or go ahead and spew whatever baby advice you think i can't live without so i can hurry up and ignore you.
then she asked what kind of sunblock it was.
it's poison. baby poison sunblock. actually, it's not sunblock at all. it's baby OIL and i aim to take this baby to the beach and fry him up in the sun til he's good and crispy, like a chicken.
i said, "i don't know." then i looked at it and said, "says here it's called california baby. 30 spf. paba free. not tested on animals. package made from recycled plastic. contains no alcohol. safe for kids over 6 months."
i thought that pretty much covered anything she was about to warn me against.
then i capped it off what a smirk. a "take your crazy and shove it," smirk.
to which she said, "oh. well, i should get some of that."
now either this woman really had never seen sunblock sticks & i was unecessarily unfriendly or she was for sure about to bathe me in her boundless knowledge of babies and sunscreen & i'm becoming a bona fide bitch.
i chose option b.
but it is true. at least sometimes (when it really counts, i like to say) i'm an official, original, certifiable, genuine, twenty-four carat b.i.t.c.h.
n