news from lake wollygone

the day after little tayloe's birthday, we had to bail wolly out of the doggie clink which, it turns out, was a major pain in the ass.
the next night i let him outside before bed and though i was outside too he managed to sneak away only to return home at 2 in the morning. he stood at the front door and howled (not barked, not scratched, hhhoooowwwwllleed like we had done something to him) until we got up and let him in.
a few days later, he found his way out in the middle of the night and was gone when we woke up. he returned later in the day but had to be shut in our bedroom because the floor guys were here working. that afternoon, he decided our freshly painted walls were the perfect landing place the yellowish/greenish liquid that came rapid fire from his butt. i can only assume it was the bi-product of trash he'd been shifflett'ing around after the day before.
i feel like putting a sign around his neck that says 'if you feed or play with this dog, you keep him' because that's what he's going out looking for. and make no mistake, his first objective is to find a fetch sucker. if he gets a bologna sandwich too, well that's just makes the trip all the more worth the while.
he's managed to stay put the last few days, but that's not always good either. when he's here he either sticks to me like huge, panting, drooling magnet or he darts around the house trying to eat flies.
of course i love him. he's crazy, frantic, telephone book-eating, santa-loving wolly. but an 8 year old lab isn't supposed to act like a 2 year old lab. an 8 year old lab is supposed to lie around all day on the ac vent.
there's a nice one in the kitchen, by the way. give it a try?