the exorcism

i short circuited last night and had a complete meltdown. it all just started to feel so HUGE, so incredibly HUGE and grown up and like nothing i'd ever done before. i mean, i've done some scary stuff. getting engaged to tayloe after only knowing him for 2 months, for example. but this suddenly was freakin enormously, gigantically scary.
i'd look at the baby and think about how he trusts us completely and just cry because i kept thinking if he knew the truth (that, um, i was a sobbing mess who could barely mutter a complete, coherent sentence) he might not so much. in fact, he might pack his bags and go home with my mom.
the good news is i'm pretty sure i exorcized the bitch - at least the bad parts of her. i kept a little bit of sass for emergencies.
needless to say i was in dire need of some refreshment, so we went to the beach this morning with the dog. it's a beautiful day and i feel so much better and now things are good.
so did i mention that my doctor didn't deliver tay? oh sure, gander a guess at his whereabouts. that's right. golfing. in utah. isn't that just precious? all along i was completely and totally right. he was trying to will our baby to be born late so he could recreate peacefully and without guilt.
a stranger named dr. edwards delivered the baby which i didn't mind at all except when he'd say, "this is why they call it labor" in response to my screams. i'm not mad at my doctor. i've said before he's way too fresh to be angry with. plus, he came to visit us and gave me vicodin and apologized. that's all a gal can ask for, really.