happy sad

see, i can't go back to work. who would take pictures and video of t2? wolly's a mess with a video camera. full time work is just going to have to wait.
he's happy. no, he's sad. no he's happy. no, he's sad. maybe he's just mad? what in god's name is going on in his little mind?
honestly the critters on his playpen look like the byproduct of a bad acid trip. i feel a little guilty just leaving him in there to sort it all out. he's the most vocal when he's lying there, but he also tolerates it for the least amount of time. 10 minutes and he's screaming bloody murder. THE BUGS ARE COMING! THE BUGS ARE COMING!
speaking of screaming bloody murder, we launched operation peaceful sleep last night. i can't believe how much time i've spent pondering my sleep/bedtime philosophy, but i had to get it straight in my head. otherwise, i become paralyzed by options and never really settle into any one thing.
before i was just hoping he'd get it on his own. he'd one night go to sleep and wouldn't wake up until morning. but i think the truth is that sleeping well, like everything else, has to be learned.
so here's the nut of it: bedtime should be a blissful happy time when we're all together. i'm willing to go the extra mile to help him learn this. so we nurse, bathe, read a book and then finish nursing. if he's not asleep we rock or nuzzle until he is. it's pretty much what we've always done (the book is new), just a little earlier. it works just fine.
what's different now, though, is what happens in the middle of the night. the days of me being a human pacifier are over. if it's a dire situation and nothing else will comfort him, ok. but he can comfort himself, i've seen him do it, and that's what i'd much rather have happen. a little late-night wailing never hurt anyone.
so last night he woke up at 1 a.m. he ate, got fresh pants and was rocked. everytime i put him down, he flailed around and whined, which lead to crying. i'd pick him up and let him nurse, but then the whole episode would repeat. eventually i'd just had it and rolled over and let him cry. after about 10 minutes i gave him a pacifier. he drifted right off. he woke again at 5:30, ate and went right back to sleep until 8:30.
hoepfully he won't fight it every night. hopefully eventually he'll learn to let his full belly and warm bed surround him and allow the snooze to take over.
is this too much boring information? sorry. but the thing is, healthy sleep is a big part of baby-ing. it's a vital part of a happy life, the start of every good day, so it ranks right up there with the most important things we teach them how to do.
all hail the zzzzs.