the things we say

you gotta feel a little bit sorry for him here, right? he's totally defenseless to my whims. i could dress him head to toe in pink and parade him around like a clown and he couldn't do a single thing about it.
i understand why adults need therapy.
i can't believe what loons we turn in to when it comes to entertaining this child. and the crap we say. for eg, here are some of the names we call him --
fussy bucket.
weird ear.
darth tater.
tay woah.
little guy. only we say it like this, "leet iill guy." and sometimes that morphs into, "supa fly leet iilll guy." and most times, we say these things over and over and over again, changing the inflection in our voice until we get a reaction. normally a whine.
this is the song i've been singing to him lately (it's not original. i ripped off a phish song) --
verse 1:we've got a baby.
cause we are a fam.
and we've got a baby in the fam.
verse 2:
we've got a dog.
cause we are a fam.
and there is a dog in the fam.
our fam is grand.
verse 3:
well, you don't need to know verse 3. you see where it's going. and honestly, verses three, four, five, six et al tend to be improv depending on my mood. in stressful times, for example, verse 3 goes
my back is killing me
cause you're getting heavy
and we've got tension in the fam.
some shots i could slam.
but there i go, telling you verse 3.
sometimes when i wake up i have this song in my head and can't get it out. i need a new song.
tomorrow t2 has his 2 month doc appointment and he's going to get stuck at least four times. i've been telling him all day it won't be bad and i'll give him some tylenol before we go and also that it couldn't possibly be as bad as the hospital stay or the emergency room (which i learned today cost our insurance $11K. ouch for them).
i'm bracing myself now for the screams. it hurts me already. my sweet baby supa fly leeet illl guy.