best good friend

the good thing about packing for a move is that eventually everything turns up. i found my camera charger and with it these weeks old photos of tayloe and his best buddy at the park.
meet sean. tayloe's opposite in so many ways and his very favorite playmate. they stomp puddles, they dominate the slide, they run circles around each other, they kiss on the lips.
sean is proof that great kids come from great moms (and dad's). sean's mother lisa is one of my very favorite people and i'm going to miss her terribly. i get teary thinking about it, so i'm going to stop thinking about it.

bye bye

note that i haven't posted many pictures lately. there's a reason. i can't find the camera charger. or the rip cord. boo.
tonight i put little tayloe in his bed and covered him up to his nose, the way he likes. i told him we loved him and before i turned to leave, he wiggled his little arm up from under the covers and waved to me. bye bye mama.
jeeze louise.

carry me back to ole virginny

i'm pregnant, my birthday is very near and we've been in our house for two years. obviously, it's time to move.
we've got 2 more weeks in sunny santa monica until we load our u-haul and head back to virginia. i realized today i hadn't posted this news on my blog and i think that's because it's only now sinking in. we've been hemming and hawing over it for months, but things just fell into place recently and a plan started to form. after a couple of months at the cottage, we're looking forward to settling in charlottesville, where i spent the first 12 years of my life and where tayloe's lived on and off since college. it's a good place to put some roots down since we already have some there.
there are two things i'm enormously excited about. the first is thunderstorms. big boomer clouds that rush in late in the afternoon, dump rain and lots of crackle and then move on, leaving steamy evening skies.
the other is lightening bugs. flicker, flicker.
thinking about these things helps me forget that leaves die and fall off the trees in virginia and that it also gets very cold there. it also helps me forget how very, very hot i'll be this summer. i'll think about that tomorrow.
of course, there are equal things i'll miss about our home here. windy palm trees. the la cocoracha truck. in & out burger. the ocean. and the sun and our neighbors and our friends. plus, this is the place where we started our family. sniff sniff.
anywho, this troop's got a long way to go and a short time to get there. ever tried packing boxes with a toddler at your heels? i don't recommend it.
seriously, can't someone carry me back to ole virginny? like in a superfast sonic machine that also entertains kids, feeds husbands and packs and unpacks boxes?

something that makes me so sad

i've been reading every story i can find about eve carson, the unc student who was killed randomly in chapel hill, nc last week.
and what i can't believe is that they have photos of some thug using her atm card and driving her car in chapel hill. blocks from where she was found dead. unreal.
(as an aside, how does he know her pin #?)
what is keeping her parents from going stark raving mad?
i'd like to trust that the chapel hill police know what they're doing, but years of small town newspaper experience just won't let me. dear god, please PLEASE help them.

no, really

the morning barfs can stop any time now, little baby. your big brother is so used to it he comes into the bathroom with me and makes puking sounds while i'm hunched over the toilet. and then he spits. it's not exactly a skill i would have rushed to teach him.

now that you know

there's a lot i gotta catch you up on.
first, tayloe thinks dick farmar is the prophet of warsaw because at tommy's birthday/christmas party at mt. airy in december, mr. farmar looked at me dead serious and asked me if i was expecting. how's that for a conversation starter?
of course i was and didn't know it.
the other thing is that when i went to get my normal annual checkup once we were back in LA and the nurse asked me for a 'sample' i kinda knew i was pregnant but didn't really so i was nervous. so nervous that i spilled said sample all over the floor. to my credit dr. park's bathroom is really small (back me up, sarah q). in between flushing and standing up, i knocked it off the sink counter. i came out with the cup and the very shallow remains and tried to laugh it off by saying, 'ha ha, i bet that happens all the time.' i mean, who hasn't spilled pee on their doctor's bathroom floor (and then stepped in it)?
the nurse said, actually, it wasn't all that common.
the final thing is that i went recently to get measured for a bridesmaid's dress since i'm to be in my sister in law's wedding (horray!) on oct. 11 (a month post-partum). a sweet little indian man pulled out his tape and his pen and paper and measured my chest. he wrote down a number. then he measured my waist. and measured it again.
'hhmm,' he said in his indian accent.
'hhmm' i said.
'hhmm,' he repeated. 'vell, it's just dat tour bust and tour vaist are de same size.'
and i said, 'not exactly barbie.'
he said, 'do voo vant me to make your vaist smaller?' and i said, 'nah, i don't have the time today and plus, i kinda want this baby.'
he laughed and said, 'i'll just vrite down vhat it is and vish voo luck.'
luck with the baby or luck fitting into a dress, i'm not sure.

uh oh

when something falls on the floor or goes under the sofa or he does something he knows he's not supposed to do like tip wolly's water bowl over, little tayloe is fond of saying 'uh oh.'
uh oh mama. uh oh dada. uh oh uh oh uh oh.
i'm sure he'd of said 'uh oh' yesterday if he had been at the doctor with big tayloe and i when we found out we for sure are having another baby in six months and that said baby is another boy.
two dirty little emery boys. uh oh.
i wonder if i can get my epidural now?

sweet potayloe

little tayloe, if you're reading this you should know there are a few things from the last few days that i'll probably hold against you for the rest of your life.
the first is you barfing craisins down my overalls on sunday night.
the second is the way you refused to eat all day monday and tuesday only to wake me up at 4 a.m. wednesday morning and demand 'yilk' and a 'nack.' oh, aren't you cute.
you did at least say please, which kinda makes me want to forgive you. at least by the time you're married.
i'm glad that you're feeling better, though, because i feel a lot less guilty putting you in time out. i know you think it's funny to grab dirt from my flower pots outside, cart it inside to spread around my rugs and then grab my hand and lead me to the vacuum cleaner, but it's not. it's so not.
this morning you and i went for a walk. you found a rock to carry around with you and as we toddled along you tried to stuff it into every opening you saw. we went nowhere fast, but i was happy to see the real you. for a while there you looked like a wilted piece of lettuce.
so look, sweet potayloe, let's stay away from the sickies for a while. we've got better things to do.

things that go barf in the night

last night i was thinking t2 wasn't his usual happy self and i thought about he hasn't been sick in a long long time and also how he'd never thrown up.
sometime around 10 he woke up whining and shivering. he had a little temperature so we gave him some medicine and snuggled down with him in our bed. around midnight, he woke up hacking. then he sat right up in bed and promptly barfed.
i had just changed the sheets.

prayers

at bedtime when i tell little tayloe it's time to say prayers, he puts his little hands together and closes his eyes and sits perfectly still as i ask god to bless our family and friends and thank him for whatever i can think of to be thankful for that day (the blue sky, that i found my swim cap, the eggo waffles that were on sale).
then i put him in bed and close his door and start to pick up the pieces of our day. sometimes i find cars stacked inside a box, largest on bottom, smallest on top. very frequently there's a sippy cup in the bathtub. one of our toothbrushes is always somewhere near the toilet. blocks are always in our shoes.
i check all of his favorite hiding places - under the rugs, behind the doors, the dog food bag, the trash.
i discover his masterpieces and unveil his treasures and realize this is what i'm thankful for.

doo doo crayola

this morning tayloe neatly arranged all of his crayons in his breakfast bowl and, while i wasn't watching, fed them one by one to wolly.
wolly, of course, ate them. he won't eat a tomato or a piece of lettuce coated in ranch dressing, but he'll eat crayons.
this should really brighten up our backyard. spring color, don't ya know.

swim update

this photo was captured just moments before tayloe rolled himself into a tidal pool (sorry starfish) and had to be stripped down to his diaper and lugged back to the car. brilliant idea. explore tidal pools with the puddle annihilator.

washer

today i went to add some dish towels to a load of laundry and found the laundry detergent bottle floating at the top, tangled in a shirt and covered in suds.
it was almost as good as the time i found our phone in the freezer.

the swimmiest swimmer

i haven't posted any video in a while and thought this capture of some recent park play was kinda cute.
last monday i was browsing through craigslist postings for some freelance work and saw that the ymca down the street was hiring a swim teacher for 36 month olds on down to infants. i'd been meaning to enroll little tayloe in the class for 1 1/2 year olds and just hadn't gotten around to it. that should surprise you.
it suddenly dawned on me that i could teach the classes, he could take the classes with me, we could get paid for it and i could get a free ymca membership all in one swoop. as an added bonus, we could both get some pretty kickin green hair.
and don't ya know that's what happened? after some observation and training on friday, t2 and i found ourselves in the pool and teaching 3 classes on saturday morning.
the first class was a disaster. it's been a while since i taught swimming and i had no idea the class would be so big or that i'd have to yell so loud. i also didn't realize how many kiddie songs i don't know. after the class, i had one of the nicer parents teach me a few favorites.
class 2 was smoother and i even had a mother tell me she liked my style. class 3 - infants 3 months to 12 months - was a breeze.
i didn't think t2 would object to pool time, even if it was for 2 hours, and i was right. he trooped right along, floating on his back, jumping off the side, happily hanging on my hip and helping me pick up toys.
but my god were we tired when it was over. so damn tired.
you know what happens when you do an ok job at something - you get asked to do it again. so now i'm the regular toddler/baby swim teacher at the santa monica ymca on monday, wednesday and saturday mornings. t2 can either come with me, swing it at ymca kidcare in the gym (for free!) or - on saturdays - stay with his dad.
for all you la mamas - a new session starts in march and they're adding a fourth class. sign up, won'tcha?

super dooper big fat tuesday

i voted in the ca primary today.
little t tugged at my pant leg and i punched my support for barack.
i love the guy and it's stupid to vote for a woman just because i'm a woman. i don't even like hillary. she uses too much hairspray.
sometimes obama speaks so beautifully i want to cry.
i mean imagine having that after eight years of verbal assaults from the decider. maybe someday soon i'll be able to watch the president speak on tv and not feel sick. that would be nice.
anyway, if you know nothing about bo (unfortunate initials), learn something - especially you folks over there in virginia and d.c. don't brush it off because it's a primary and then complain later that you don't like the final candidate, you slackers. (and i guess that goes for republicans too, so get out there on feb. 13. especially you, geoff)
your time's comin.

the deal

for the last two years, we've been here alone. no family to turn to when times got tough. no free baby sitters. no one to sit in on supper or drink our last coke.
and then last month, our cousin lawrence moved to santa monica. in fact, he moved right down the street from us.
if having him around has been fun for us, it's been a carnival for t2. he's totally in love with his cousin. for good reason - lawrence kicks soccer balls with him, plays outside with him, watches sesame street with him, lets him play with wolly and even (amazingly, cutely) hugs and kisses him. he knows our rules and has a really good sense of what's ok and what's not, all on his own.
and here's the best part - if we let lawrence do laundry here once a week, he in turn babysits little t once a week.
this week, our date will involve me redeeming my super bowl bet victory (go giants) and getting a much deserved double-double at in and out.
the video above is lawrence with t2 when he was just weeks old. seems like these two were just meant to be connected.
thanks, l-dog, for being such good family and for loving our kid so much. i'm assuming it's love because i can't think of any other reason you'd be so calm when t2's screaming in your face or pinching your nose or poking your eyes.
a word about that super bowl bet: just before the game started, i bet tayloe that the giants would win by 3. 'that's a silly bet' he said 'because if they win by 2 or 1 or 14 or any other number, you lose.' 'yeah well that's my bet' i said 'for a double double at in and out - you either take it or you don't.'
who's dumber now, eh?

the minutia

today while waiting for his lunch, t2 was playing the lovely new placemats my mother in law gave us for christmas. i was busy and he was busy so there was peace and that's good.
then we ate lunch and afterwards i plopped him down on the floor. as i was cleaning up i realized three of my six mats were missing.
so i inquired. tayloe, where'd you put my placemats?
he looked up from playing with cars.
i asked again. can you show me where you put my placemats?
he stood up, trotted into the kitchen and threw back the rug. there they were. he picked them up and handed them to me.
of course, i said. exactly where i'd keep them if we didn't have any drawers.

the boy who loved too much

maybe you remember that t2 had a hitting problem a while back. he was getting hitting and hello mixed up and everytime he wanted to say hi to another kid he'd swat at them. he'd also hit when he was frustrated, but that was less often. we combated that issue with the old adage 'hug, don't hit' (see also, 'don't cry, try') and spent a good number of weeks showing him what we meant.
so here's what he does now: he sees another kid that he's interested in. he watches that kid for a little while. he usually does some kind of dance or a few little prances to get that kid's attention. when that doesn't work, he engulfs them in a hug, usually knocking them over. occasionally the hug is followed by a huge, slimy open mouth kiss.
he's also been known to do this to adults. and to a lesser degree, things (see kissy flower pic above). nothing's safe.
how's that for a turn around?
thing is, most kids don't like to be swallowed in a hug by another toddler. the other thing is that he isn't particularly discriminating about what size kid he chooses to "love." last week it was a still crawling baby girl. yesterday it was a boy his who was his age but who was quite a bit bigger and heismaned him.
i try to run interference when i see he's got his love face on, but i don't always get there in time. when he makes a move, he does it fast (like his dad).
i was talking to a friend about this last week - kinda laughing about it, really. she's a bit older, with a 9 year old boy, and she said when her son was 1 1/2 - 2 he'd excitedly run up to other kids and shove them over. then he'd look bewildered and hurt when they started crying.
she told me what so many other moms have - "it's just boys." they're so physical and not armed with the language skills girls have at a young age. that doesn't make them any less excited to see and meet new people, though, so they just do it the best way they know how. brute force. HI, I LIKE YOU. WHAM! LET'S BE FRIENDS!
that makes sense. little t only has about 5 solid words in his arsenal and hi isn't one of them (though he does wave). and like most boys, he's physical. he gets a huge kick out of flopping himself on the floor, bonking things on his head (or his head on things) and jumping on or off anything.
we name everything we see, talk to him constantly, read to him, sing to him, expose him to other kids who talk and though he understands most everything we say, few real words have crossed his lips. i can't help but think someday soon his little head is going to explode if he doesn't start spewing some of that knowledge he's storing.
until then, i guess i'll keep running interference, replacing 'hug, don't hit' with 'hey hey little lover. don't smother.'

rain's good and all but ...

an entire week of steady downpours? is that really necessary?
the puddle annihilator hasn't let me forget for one second that the weather has been wet. it's all puddles all the time. throw in a few rocks and some leaves and i can keep him occupied for close to an hour. yesterday he tried to put his face in an especially large one. denied access, he moved on to making huge splashes that tidal-waved his entire body.
maybe today i'll take some video of the madness.

thanks auntie kates

dear fake aunt katie
hi. it's me, little tayloe. thank you so much for coming all the way from new york city to visit me. i remember that we went to joshua tree and that we had a fun time playing in the desert dirt. i also remember that you made me eggs. that was nice because not even my mom does that very much.
you really helped mom and dad take care of me when they weren't feeling well and in return i promise to come to new york someday soon to help you. you may have noticed that i'm very good at putting trash in the trash can. and if you need puddles jumped in, i'm your man.
wuv you.
hug,
little tayloe

ps - isn't it sad about heath ledger? new york city sure is a crazy place.

who are we?

fortunately, the bad haircut is starting to grow out a little. but notice the unnatural arc on those bangs. um, yeah.
today i did something i never thought i'd do - i took a sample of my dna and sent it away to people i don't know, people i'll never meet.
tayloe's become friends with the director of the genographic project, which is trying to answer the question of how we all got to where we are today. it's a good question, especially since there's genetic evidence that shows we all descended from one african ancestor who lived 60,000 years ago. some day when little tayloe asks us how he got here, maybe we can give him a really solid answer - even map it out for him. and maybe, too, i can start to accurately answer the 'are you swedish' questions.
so i swab, swab, swabbed the inside of my cheeks and tayloe did too. his results will trace his mitochondrial DNA (passed from mother to child) and so will mine (because that's all i can do, what with me missing the Y chromosome and all).
we still want to do his father's family and my father's family and each of our mother's father's families so if some of you randomly receive these genographic kits in the mail, you'll know who they're from. open 'em up and send 'em in. it's completely anonymous - your name isn't attached to your dna - and you'll be part of mapping the human journey.
cool.

I am Woman...

Hear me roar!

first bad haircut

it happens to everyone eventually, i guess. i took t2 to get a trim late last week and it turned out pretty awful. i keep repeating what i said to the lady -- just a little around the ears and his bangs and in the back -- and wondering if somehow those simple instructions sounded like 'attach the flowbee to his head.'
bye bye cute little dutch boy. now it's all choppy and uneven - because of course he wouldn't hold still. she didn't even have any lollipops. i thought these people were professionals!
it's not obvious to anyone but me (and tayloe, who promptly upon our return home said, 'honey, what the hell did you do to his hair?'), but i feel compelled to tell total strangers. someone comments on his blondeness and i start blabbing on about our bad cut. i'm getting a reputation.
so as predicted, little tayloe has taken to telling wolly what to do - mainly, to go lie down. i must say "wolly go lie down please" 1,000 times a day, so it's no surprise. he copies everything, from my hand motions (swinging my arm out and pointing at wolly's bed) to my tone of voice (sometimes pretty irritated).
the funny thing is that wolly actually listens, sometimes more often than he does when i say it. it's true i guess -- the hand that feeds the dog is the hand that rules the world.

dad dominates wii

this is one of the 12 things i had on my camera. i'd forgotten about it until now, but i had to share it. pardon the laughing by moi in the background. i can't help it though, there's something utterly hilarious about my dad playing an interactive video game and his obvious thrill in doing so.
so it turns out, eating road food for a week does wonders toward improving ones diet once more natural sustenance is available. i've had five salads in 40 hours and the thought of anything in a package repulses me. it's supposed to rain and be cool for the next 3 days, so i decided to cook a chicken and make chicken stock, chicken noodle soup and chicken salad. i'm also thinking about baking some bread.
somebody stop me.

the beverly hillbillies

hey, we're home. in la that is. got back just yesterday, and i gotta tell ya there's not much i'm missing about the car or I-40 right now. even though we had room in the driveway, tayloe and i parked the wagon across the street and out of sight and both made 'ew' sounds when we realized one of us had to get in it this morning to go fetch some milk.
not it.
our car will probably forever smell like french fries, moldy apple juice, dog and rotten raisins. we were so loaded down from top to bottom we caught other travelers actually laughing at us.
i just plugged in my camera and downloaded photos from the last 30 days (which, mind you, includes christmas) and i have exactly 12 photographs. um, was i asleep?
tayloe did take some photos of christmas morning and amazingly got all 20-something of us tearing through presents at mt.airy, but they're on his camera. there's also a great one of t2 with aunt mary and his amazing, enormous stuffed fish she gifted him. those are coming soon, but in the meantime did any one else get any good ones?
speaking of aunt mary, she's gettin hitched!! engaged on christmas day - isn't that romantic??!!
our trip back was as wham-bam as it gets. we literally drove 9 hours for 5 straight days. i felt sorry for us for a while, because let's face it - singing the itsy-bitsy spider 5,000 times a day isn't unlike ramming bamboo shoots under your nails.
then one bitter cold morning (it was still dark) near topeka, kansas we were pulling away from the motel 6 when i saw a portly, streaky-haired gal hunched over a cup of 7-11 coffee shuffling across the icy parking lot. she was headed for the front office, no doubt just beginning a long day of motel 6 desk duty.
i thought, you know, life's pretty good.
we talked about everything under the sun and when we were done, we moved on to answering life's most troubling questions. like who makes better snackfoods, nabisco or kraft. and counting the number of rock songs with drug references. or quizzing each other on the nickname of every state. somehow new jersey got 'the land of enchantment.' that one really stumps me.
my favorite pass time with t2 became singing whatever song i wanted, but using the hand motions he loves and copies. so i'd do my best rendition of me & bobby mcgee (tayloe on backup) while hand motioning twinkle twinkle little star, little bunny foo-foo, the itsy-bitsy spider or all three.
when we finally reached los angeles city limits, i thought we were both going to cry. you'd of thought we'd just placed first in the boston marathon with all the high fiving and back patting and woo-hooing we did. it was so green and lush and at least yesterday was very warm. best of all we were home.
it was a lovely 2 months and we are beyond blessed to have a beautiful, if not a little eccentric, family and even more blessed to have been so warmly and lovingly welcomed and taken care of.
warm fuzzies and big love, ya'll.

dizzy spin

this is just funny stuff.

winter wonderland

it snowed yesterday!

a few of my favorite things

ah, the beach. these are from ocracoke, a tiny little island that time forgot. we had a great day there last week, cruising around on bikes and eating shrimp.
there are days when t2 is so cute i forget all about his tendency to pee the moment i take his diaper off or his fondness for grabbing the end of the toilet paper roll and running like mad out of the bathroom with it clutched in his hands or his adoration for trash.
today was one of those days. it wasn't really anything in particular, just every time i looked at him he broke my heart. the cheeks, the hair, his pitter-pat toddle, the super sloppy on-demand wet tongue kisses. jeeze louise.

from coast to coast

the tayloes and i are at the beach this week - outer banks, nc. it's an old fashioned family vacation complete with an out-of-the-office reply on tayloe's email.
we arrived yesterday afternoon and drove down the sandy lane to our wooden shingled beach house, giddy and excited to be here. so excited, in fact, that we forgot my bike was on top of the car, a detail not overlooked by the top of the garage that we slammed it into.
"hey everyone, we're here!"
sssssLLLLLAAAAAMmm EERRRKKKKRRRAAAASSSHHH. shit.
(clark, let's just skip the house of mud.)
and so we'd arrived.
we forgot how remote it is out here and didn't think to hit a real grocery store before we got halfway down the barrier island. so we hit a local market yesterday evening. we bought one of everything, i think, and because it was taking so long to ring us up, tayloe struck up a conversation with the cashier, a young teenage girl named crystal.
tayloe: thanks for all your help. what's your name?
crystal: crystal.
t: with a C or K?
c: with a C, see? (makes a c with her hand)
t: and a Y or an A at the end?
c: (looks very confused) um, with an L? there's an L at the end.
t: YL or AL?
c: OH! AL. crystal. like crystal.
t: i see, crystal.
c: crystal blue waters.
t: crystal like crystal blue waters
c: no, that's my name. crystal blue waters.
me: (very loudly from the potato chip aisle nearby) SHUT UP! THAT IS NOT YOUR NAME!!! (then quieter, heeding tayloe's "you're so rude" glare) is that your name?
c: yes maam it is. that's my name. crystal blue waters.
and so now whenever i look at the ocean or see the sound or even run the damn bathwater, i think of crystal blue waters the convenience store clerk.

new favorite picture

where in the world is tayloe emery

i had the very best intentions of updating this blog as we drove across the country, but it just didn't happen. maybe on the way back.
we left santa monica nov. 1 with a slight halloween hangover. seven days later we arrived in greensboro no worse for the wear. we went a little slow through the west, stopping in flagstaff, az, moab, utah and in denver to see friends, but then hightailed it after that through texas, oklahoma, arkansas, tennessee and finally nc. i think i've been to every state in the country except alaska, wisconsin and michigan.
i expected t2 to balk at driving 8 hours a day, but he didn't seem to mind. there were plenty of trucks and trains and snacks to keep him occupied i guess. also, the person who invented mcdonalds playland should get a gold medal. i wish someone would clue hotels in on the idea.
t2 and i are in greensboro this week while tayloe works in dc. we'll be here through thanksgiving, then will take a family vacation to the outer banks and then will be in the northern neck through christmas.
next weekend i'm leaving t2 with my parents and flying to dc to spend the weekend with tayloe. it's a first - just he and i. whatever will we do?

happy halloween!

t2 and i went to a halloween party this afternoon. i even made spooky treats, only midway through i realized spiders have 8 legs, so some are anatomically correct and some aren't. (tayloe, do they remind you of the blue-ribbon spider cupcake we peed our pants laughing over at the humboldt county fair three summers ago?)
you'd think i'd of known that for as many times as i've read 'the very busy spider.' i might also would have known it because we've been watching our own busy spider on the side of our house.
there just isn't much cuter than a toddler in a costume. i think i'm going to put this zebra suit on t2 everyday until he outgrows it. tomorrow we're going trick or treating with some neighborhood friends. i've never been so excited for halloween in my life. i just might break out my lemon costume. go ahead, dare me.

thanks grandjane and poppy

t2 got a halloween card in the mail today that had $5 in it! how fun is that?

dirtball

my mother in law reminds me every once in a while that when tayloe was a little boy, he really liked dirt. she found handfulls of mud or worms or rocks - most of the time all three - in his pockets, in his shoes, behind his ears. i think he pretty much lived in the creek behind their house.
i never really thought to ask if he was the only one of her four children who was so dirt-friendly, but knowing what i know now i'll guess yes.
i thought i was prepared for a kid who likes dirt. i mean, most children like playing outside and most children get dirty. it's part of being a kid.
i just didn't think it'd happen so soon and i didn't think my child would be so fond of it. so very, very fond of it.
i feel like every time we go outside, i should just strip him down because no matter what he's going to find a puddle or a hole or a dirt pile. and no matter what, a few hours later i'm going to be rubbing shout into this clothes.
even when there isn't any visable dirt trouble in site, he still manages to get really, really dirty. i have no idea how this happens.
today we went for a walk at the marina, where he found every puddle and what seemed like every speck of dirt (and every leaf, and every pine cone, and every rock) there was to be found. as long as he's safe, i usually let him go to town because .... well, because that's what my intuition tells me to do. i can always clean him up.
when it was time to go i loaded him into the car, dirt and all. don't you know he fell asleep.
shit.
do i wake him up and take the dirty clothes off? or do i just put him in bed and give everything a goop bath later?
wake him up? put him in bed dirty? wake him up? put him in bed dirty?
against all my natural instincts, i put him in bed. dirty.
girls don't go to bed dirty. we have immaculate, well-practiced bedtime washing rituals. we have 7 different kinds of shampoo. if it weren't for women, soap wouldn't sell.
he can't possibly sleep like that, i thought. for sure he'll wake up, totally uncomfortable and begging me to put him in something clean. (god, please let him wake up so i can put something clean on him.)
2 hours later i heard him. i went to peek and he was sitting happily in his crib playing peekaboo with his sleepy piece.
i wish i could have enjoyed what was a cute moment, but it was way more than i could handle.
once he was tidied up he ran to the back door, demanding to go outside. like an idiot i opened it and before i could catch him, he had a fist full of leaves and was heading for wolly's dog bowl.
i. am. tired.

i have a boyfriend

this is the im conversation i just had with my 10 year old niece

catherineemery75: hi eliza! it's aunt cat
ninjaartist5: wuz up. i have a boyfriend
catherineemery75: oh wow! that's exciting. what's his name?
ninjaartist5: payton
catherineemery75: is he cute?
ninjaartist5: way cute
catherineemery75: is he smart?
ninjaartist5: oh yeah!
catherineemery75: so do you sit together at lunch?
ninjaartist5: he is not in my second period
catherineemery75: i see. do you see him after school? and pass notes?
ninjaartist5: yes.
[5 minute pause. i consider asking what they write notes about, but decide that's too nosy. i wait for her to tell me more about peyton. she doesn't. i change the subject.]
catherineemery75: did you see the fires in los angeles on the news?
ninjaartist5: yes. we have had lots of rain. i have to go.

and there you have it.
there'll be a day when i'm typing away at my computer and t2 im's me from college (or juvi) to tell me he's met someone he wants to bring home. sweet lord, please let all of her tattoos be spelled correctly.

danger zone

this is maverick requesting a flyby.

california burnin'

some photos from saturday. more are on flickr
it's blazes hot here and there are these dreadful fires, of course, all around us. it's pretty depressing, thinking about people's homes being charred and thousands of animals running for their lives.
there's this very eerie haze outside. it's sepia-toned air. at sunset tonight our neighborhood looked orange, like it'd been spray tanned.
i'll tell you what - mother nature is piiiiiissssssed off at southern california. i blame the governator.
i needed a break from the news (FOX: CA Inferno!). charlie gibson is wearing a coat, for god's sake, and everytime i see a blaze i have to go get a glass of water.
hold, please while i switch over to 'dancing with the stars.'
relief?
hell no. it's jlo. she's prancing around in 10 inch heels singing about gettin loud. gggrrrrlll, you're pregnant. whatchoo tryin to prove, crazy bitch.
all i want is jenny garth in a yellow tu-tu telling me how hard everyone's working and what a family they all are. or see marie osmond faint and then apologize for it.

pumpkins

we were going to go away for the weekend, but the colds of last week altered our plans some. instead, we took a day trip saturday to ventura county and ventured upon a pumpkin farm. who can resist?
my friend reid blogged recently about toddlerdom - it's all so true.
it's inspiring to have a little boy who is excited every single day for what's in store. he does some crazy cute things right now, but my favorite is the way he nods yes. it's a whole-head, whole-neck experience, touching his chin all the way to his chest and then looking up at me and saying yesssss with a smile. i also love how cooperative he is when it's time to pick things up and that he knows where things go.
and as annoying as the not so fun stuff is, i'm getting better at remembering that he's counting on us to teach him. that makes plopping him down in a bare, lonely playpen for timeout seem a lot less mean.
i have a few more pumpkin farm pictures, coming asap.

maataa

if i could draw and if i could sew, i would design a line of clothing for mothers. i'd call it maataa - mother in hindi. people think when they buy something with a far eastern name they automatically become enlightened and exotic.
buy these clothes and changing diapers will suddenly become exciting! changing sheets and washing dishes and doing laundry will seem worldly! mac and cheese with hot dogs will taste like gulab jamun! you'll instantly speak 5 languages and have time to meditate on things like inner peace and personal balance!
i digress.
it'd be clothing that is comfortable, fashionable, bendable, travels well, washes well (but not too well), roomy and gorgeous.
i want to be able to go for my morning walk, take t2 to music class, have a lunch meeting with a client, take a nap, meet a friend for an afternoon at the park, make dinner, roll around on the floor with my family and lounge on the couch all in the same thing. i'm willing to add the accrutrements - a scarf, a necklace, different shoes.
i just don't have much that i actually want to wear in public that accommodates all of the activity and hides coffee stains and snot. add to that the year-round warmth of LA and i'm so screwed.
my closet and drawers are full of things i used to wear - dress shirts, pencil skirts, heels, a down jacket. i guess i'm still holding on to that life a little because i try to wear some of those things with clothes that better suit my life now. sadly, it's just not working. i'm so uncomfortable most of the time you'd think i'd been constipated for weeks.
when i do find something i feel good in, i usually wear it for a few days straight.
so basically i need a bit of a makeover. my goal in the next month or so is to find a new sense of style that works for my lifestyle. (i also still need to ditch the remaining baby weight, so that's a goal, too. ugh).
got any bright ideas?

sniffle

t2 and i have both had a cold this week. sniff. sniff. after one hellish night of him waking up every 15 minutes, i decided last night to prop the head-end of his bed up with books so he wasn't so flat (and prone to stuffiness). it seems to be working, though i just peeked in on his nap and he was all stuffed in the bottom corner of his bed with his blanket rolled around him like a tortilla.
i'm feeling a lot better, thanks in part to being able to sleep in some. tayloe has taken to getting up with t2 while i get an extra bit of shut eye. they watch sesame street and eat cheerios while i hunker down under the comforter and thank god i don't have to pretend to like elmo & mr. noodle at 7 in the morning. next to the dyson, it's the sweetest gift ever.

daredlane

finally some walking video! it's not exciting, but as i say when it's my turn to cook - you get what you get. don't throw a fit.
if you listen close you can hear the squeak squeak of his shoes. they make noise when he walks (thanks grandjane!). the noise seems to delight store keepers and grandmother types and really annoy other moms. one snippy mother looked at me today and said in a frowny tone, "is that his shoes making that noise?" nope. it's his butt.
the santa monica airport is really close to our house so we went this afternoon because someone is very fascinated by airplanes and it isn't me. turns out it's super kid friendly with a little viewing deck right by the runway and a park and swings and everything. in fact, there's a decent sushi restaurant there, too, overlooking the runway. i really do love this city.
here are a few photos.

they land every couple minutes.












on the slide
















showing me what airplanes do (they go up, up, up!)

imaginary friends

every night when we put t2 to bed, we read him a story or seven. and every night when we're done with the story, just before the light goes out, he points to the same place in his bedroom and talks in the language that only he understands.
he's saying something like mmshways hyhyewyayay mmmmmmmmaaaawahnman? there's beautiful inflection and variation in his voice, like he's asking a question that i should understand. and then he looks at me and looks at the 'thing' and shakes his little pointy hand.
i have no idea what he's pointing to. i've picked up everything i can imagine that he wants and tried to ask if that's it, but he just shakes his head no and points, points, points. i've put him down and asked him to show me what he wants. he just walks over to his books, looks around and then comes back and sits on my lap. the whole thing starts over, only the second time i don't let him get down. eventually he gets tired, sighs and puts his head on my chest. like, "oh mommy. some day you'll get it."
after much discussion, tayloe and i decided he must have an imaginary friend he wants us to say goodnight to. so that's what we do. goodnight books, goodnight light, goodnight mommy, goodnight dada, goodnight imaginary friend who only t2 can see but must be really special because we're ordered speak to you on a regular basis.
oddly, this seems to satisfy him, which is both a relief and a little curious. what (who?) in gods name has his little mind created and what is its purpose?
i can only imagine.

six years

our six year anniversary is today. isn't that somethin'? six years.
last night i cleaned my wedding rings and i got to thinking about how someday i'll give them to a child of ours to give to his wife and they'll give it to their child and so on and so forth.
as i was scrubbing it and thinking about how our son's wife better be pretty damn sweet because this is a really special ring, i noticed how thin and pale my ring finger is without it on. i hardly ever take it off, so i hadn't realized how much a part of me it is.
the metaphor is bonk-over-the-head obvious, but i hadn't thought about the rings as an outward symbol of our marriage in a long time. maybe not even since our wedding day. this made me feel even more strongly that our son's future wife better be, like, queen of england or something.
so here's to us - despite a few nicks and dings and scratches, we still shine like diamonds and stand strong, maybe even stronger, as platnium.
clink.
i love you, tayloe.
lick the salt, throw back the tequila, squeeze the lime.
that's what i'm talkin about.

brusha brusha

please tell me you watched dolly sing 'coat of many colors' on the last blog post. it's too good to miss.
i got t2 a toothbrush a few months ago when the vet told me i needed to brush wolly's teeth and i told her i didn't even brush my kid's teeth. and wouldn't you know, the he loves the thing! no trip into the bathroom is complete until all 9 of his pearlies are polished with super silly strawberry paste. it makes a very nice bribe.
help mom pick up these blocks and we can ... GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH! sit still while i put your shoes on and we can ... GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH! it almost feels mean. on the plus side, he has the cleanest mouth in santa monica.
my friend lisa and her son sean came over yesterday and she brought sean's brand new miniature broom, which the two boys took turns whisking around my house like a couple of molly maids. brilliant, right?
eat all of your peas and you can go SWEEP THE FLOOR! hahahahahahahahaha.
this should work out just fine until he starts asking friends if they want to come over and mop our kitchen.

haircut + dinner w/dolly

t2 had his first real haircut while we were on the east coast. it was a pleasant surprise that he was very good and didn't grab the scissors and poke anyone's eyes out. he even had a lollipop. more pictures from our trip are on flickr.
i have my camera back and keep meaning to get walking video, but then forget. i'll remember eventually. it's just that between keeping him from climbing the walls and whopping on other kids .... well, i'm a little distracted. pharida jokes that t2's spirit (i'll always call it that, even when he's in jail) is my 'payback' for having such an easy infant. only pharida can get away with this kind of 'joke.'
on saturday night tayloe and i went to dinner and a movie (the flick was 'into the wild' and i give it lots of stars). tayloe picked the supper spot, matteos, because it was close to the theater. we loved it the minute we walked in because it was tacky with just a touch (the tiniest little touch) of taste. we were saying just this when we realized we were seated right next to MRS Tacky, dolly parton. mmmm, mmm, i love me some dolly. i mean coat of many colors?
dolly's sippin her martini with her girlfriends and we sit down. and i stare. how do i not stare? as my mother in law says, anyone dressed like that wants me to look at them. there's so much to look at. her ginormous boobs, for one. and the 80 karat diamond ring that's so big it spreads over three fingers and i can't even tell which finger it's on for another. and her hair and her lipstick and her spandex and her big poofy lips. she's only 5"2', but there's a lot of doll in dolly.
i tried to eavesdrop, but the only thing i could hear was her saying,'there's no such thing as natural beauty' in 'steel magnolias.'
i did get over it eventually and we had a really nice dinner. we were just about done when we looked over and noticed dolls and her gals were touching up their makeup. at the table. full-on compact-lookin, lipstick smackin,' makeup applyin. oh no she didn't.
tayloe leaned over to me and said ever so quietly, 'you can take a girl out of the country ...' which made me laugh so hard i snorted wine through my nose.

teedle toddle

home again, home again.
i wish i had some new pictures or some video, but i left my camera on the east coast and it's en route as i type. so we'll just have to wait. pooh.
mr.mister is a bonafide toddler. after taking his first steady stretch of steps to his great aunt courtenay in the great hall of mt. airy a few weeks ago (i think he was inspired by his young friend sawyer), t2's been an unstopable beast on 2 feet. he's a comical mix of a drunk and frankenstein, staggering around with his arms straight out in front of him. it's a familiar image if you've ever mixed big tayloe and a bottle of patron.
with his new found skill has come an enormous amount of confidence to try dangerous things, including climbing on anything he can swing his leg up on and then trying to jump off. this has taken precedence to throwing things and hitting people. however now instead of trying to explain gentle, i'm faced with trying to teach a toddler that sitting in a chair is ok, but sitting on a table is not. it's kinda tough not only because it's tedious but also because i find that even as i enforce the rules, i'm questioning them. i mean, some tables really do look like chairs.
sometimes i try to sum up the ways my time as a stay at home mother could come in handy should i ever find myself in an office again. there's the patience, and the organization. but there's also this fundamental right and wrong stuff. like don't bite people and don't hit them and don't go bananas and jump off other people's furniture because all of that is really offensive and rude and no way to make friends.
speaking of making friends, one last thing. thursday we were at the park. t2's toddling around and i'm watching him. i'm also eavesdropping on other kids' conversations. there's this little group of 3 year olds, maybe 4 or 5 of them, all playing in the sand with buckets and shovels and such. one little boy has a toy flip cell phone. while the other kids are building a castle, the cell phone kid is unflipping his phone, putting it to his ear and shouting, "IT'S JUST A STUPID MEETING! CANCEL THE STUPID MEETING." then he'd flip it closed and put it in his pocket. a few seconds later, he'd repeat it all.
poor little parrot. the other kids were looking at him like he was retarded. it makes my heart ache.

play nice

yesterday was such a treat. t2 and i left richmond county and headed down to heathsville to see sweet reid and her even sweeter son sawyer. we had such a nice time playing and hanging out at their way cool barn house.
reid took this series of pics (and also one of them playing very nicely together). every time i look at it i laugh so hard. i also can't help but ask why my kid's the one crying.
t2 does kinda have a hitting/biting "issue." sometimes i honestly know he's playing and has no idea how strong he is or that what he's doing is wrong. other times, he really is mad - like when we had to get out of the river today. either way, we always say no firmly and tell him some kind of alternative (even though we feel stupid saying, 'we don't hit, we hug' because he's still so young). it makes me feel very self conscious as a parent and reminds me that even though my ego isn't attached to a salary or a job in an office anymore, it's very much attached to this little golden haired person and the way he behaves.
i know he's far from an angel and this is just the very skimmy surface of the things he'll do that'll make me want to shoot myself in the head. i guess i'll just keep being consistent (or is there some wonder trick, like duct taping his little hands to his thighs???? tell me, tell me, tell me... ). but hit? and bite? does it have to be that? its so ..... boyish.
despite all the snips and snails and puppy dog tails, he fell sound asleep in my lap at bedtime with his little head on my chest and his sleepy piece clutched in his arms.
that's what little boys are made of.

thank god i'm a country boy

aren't these pictures great? my mother-in-law has an amazing eye and took these on saturday as we washed her car. the one with the chocolate lab moose's mouth framing t2's head is a blue ribbon pic, i think.
t2 had a dandy time playing in her flower pots and in the puddles that the hose made. the country really is a great place for a kid (and his parents). it's still pretty hot, but you can feel fall right around the corner. this is the time of year tayloe and i were married, and because we were married here it makes me very nostaligic for this place.
i can't help but tote t2 down to the river, plop down in the sand and watch him toss rock after rock into the water. we've all been sweaty and dirty and salty most of the time we've been here and it's been delicious.